I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
