stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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