He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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