I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
