I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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