dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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