When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
