I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you would pick up someone in the library
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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