bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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