i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
