Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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