Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
