I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
