You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They have beer where we have blood.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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