I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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