Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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