remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
