just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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