you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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