yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
