I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
