I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
