Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
