if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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