The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
