Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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