To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
