I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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