It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
