Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
