the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
