We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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