There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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