He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
