When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
