There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
