the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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