So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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