if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
