I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
