Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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