he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't want my vagina anymore.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
