I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
