its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
