The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
