I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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