Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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