The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
