you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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