Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
