Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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