Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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