Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
