I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
